023.

Ups and downs and ups and downs.
I was mistaken, I'm not totally happy. I'm getting there, but right now I'm just content. I'm happy, but it's not the happiness I'm used to. The I love my life so much my heart is going to burst out of my chest happiness.
I can deal with that, because I know I'll make it there again one day. It's just so strange because usually those two feelings go hand in hand. I've never experienced one without the other. This is new/different.
Every thing, every day is different.
I never know how I'm going to feel or how it'll end up, but I'm living.

All I an really say about anything right now is 1. Thank god for Melissa Stafford and 2. My heart is way, way too big sometimes.. but I just can't help how much I care.

Last night I hung out with Joanna and Garrett, I was so hyper. Yelling out the van windows, drinking too much coffee, chasing Tyler around. Tonight I went grocery shopping with Mellie and Brett tonight. Helping Melissa pick out good things, etc. Then we went home and cooked vegan sloppy joes, baked beans and drank root beer and sat around the table talking for a few hours. I would be so, so lost with out her.

When I go out the past few days, I feel detached from the rest of the world. But very happy just being on my own, trapped in my own head. It's lovely. I feel invisible in a good way.