Revelations?

"Is it weird to say that before we were even friends I looked up to you? I still think you're probably one of the strongest girls I know with an awesome ability to let stuff roll off your shoulders."

I know the most amazing people. I am lucky to have such great friends. It's the one thing I never let myself forget.

On another great note: This entire fucking state is going vegan. Garrett, Melissa and Brett all have come over to da dark side this week. I am taking total credit for it.

Everything lately is so strange.
These feelings are just unfamiliar and unexpected.
I didn't know how to go about getting here, but it happened on it's own.
I'm HAPPY. I'm in a good place.
I go out every single night. I fill all the hours.
Not a day passes with out my friends anymore.
Things I've always wanted are landing right at my feet.
I'm being reacquainted with the happiness I've been searching for ever since I lost it through the winter.
I'm feeling like myself again.
I'm excited, I'm falling back in love with everything around, everything that makes up what I've always considered my life.

I have signs every day that I am exactly where I should be.
More than happiness, I'm feeling so care-free.
Free. Alive.
When I'm alone in the back seat of Melissa's car and I just stick my head out the window and stare at the sky. Life is not serious. You're here and then you die.
So I do whatever I want, I make sure I'm smiling.
I'm spending all my time with people I love, I'm laughing, I'm living my life.
Serendipity is everywhere.
Life really does move on.

But there's still something missing.
And I feel it whenever I'm alone.
And I know what it is.
And I still get sad on those late drives home.
I don't want to feel as detached as I'm beginning to feel.
Life moves on, but I don't want to leave anything behind and regret it later.

But I kept saying I'd be okay, and finally I am.
I'm breathing. (I wasn't sure I even was the past few weeks.)
I'm understanding things again. I'm learning.
I'm reattached with my emotions, I have some control.
I am really living MY life again.