017.

I made the right decision last night (especially since The Carrier ended up dropping the show). I wasn't very excited about going to Tigers Jaw, last time I tried to see them at Ava House it was just annoying..but this time, sooo sosososo worth it.

Despite the crowded, sweaty, smoke filled room, I can honestly say that's the most fun I've had at a show in a long time. I didn't expect that to be the case at all, especially since I've gone to a show every night this week since Monday, excluding Tuesday, seeing favorite bands every night. I'm probably going to the Crucial Dudes show in Jersey tonight, I wonder how long I can keep the trend going.

The feeling that Tigers Jaw left me with though..it was Algernon shows circa summer 2008. Not many people would understand what I mean by that..but those that do and remember that feeling..know it's one of the most amazing things we'll have ever gotten to experience. They played 2 new songs, one off of Spirit Desire, and 4 off of the self titled. Literally all 4 songs I would of wanted them to play. Dancing with some best friends and some strangers (and deej hahah), screaming the words so so loud with the entire crowd, the floor bouncing with the potential for caving in.

Everything was perfect.

"And this was all a dream and it's coming back to me. A portrait in grey scale, a perfect betrayal. And I can't even breathe with this weighing on my chest. You knew me at my best, now I can't even stand on my own."

As corny as it may come off, I think I may have developed/be developing an addiction to live music/dancy punk shows. Obviously music is a huge part of my life (I will never forget walking around Atlanta with Tyler and him saying "you have a major fucking hard on for out of state shows"), but lately this is different. When a day goes by I don't have a show to go to, my day doesn't feel complete. It seriously feels like this is what I need to fill any voids. When some people are unhappy they find addictions in negative things- party, drink their problems away, etc. I go searching for that feeling that only those nights give me, because it's the only time I feel 100% alright and don't give a fuck about anything else in the world.

I have no money. The money I do have, every cent is spent on getting me to the places where I know I'll find happiness. I don't really have a job, I don't have a clue what I want to do with my life, but for now..I've decided to not care. I'll figure it out when the warm weather leaves again. Until then I'm going to hang out. Be happy. Travel. Smile. Surround myself with the ones I love. Love, in general. Spending every cent I have on the shows I want to see and the gas money to get there. I have no need for it anywhere else. I can crash on couches all summer, and I'm fine with that.
I don't have to grow up yet.