This new sleep schedule isn't okay anymore. There's too many hours in the day to fill when I have nothing to fill them with. I sat on the front step this morning eating granola with soy milk sitting in the sun. I used to enjoy that. Now I just end up in tears. All I can do is hope I'll be missed enough in the end.
I'm never this kind of person. I'm the one on tour that walks away and still goes to find fun when all the boys get moody. I'm the one that never lets anyone else get me down or ruin a good mood. I'm a happy kid, I just need to find myself again.
I think I might drive to the beach today. Even though it's not as warm as I pretend it is, and the water is still freezing, I think feeling my toes in the sand might help me. If there's one place in the entire world I feel at home, it's there.
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