012.

"At least I'll have lived a life, a life I wanted to. Cause living a life you don't want to shouldn't be called living at all."

Last night was seriously summer. It turned out a lot better than I expected it to, especially considering I FORCED myself to go hang out when I really didn't feel like leaving the house. So glad I did. I met up with Andrew and Nick and we talked and told stories for a little while, just catching up. Then we decided to just go up to Newark because Delaware really lacks anything else to do even when you try and brainstorm. We picked up Buff, and then through out the night hung out on Main Street with just about everyone..Zoe, Tyler, Orion, Kyle, picked up Melissa and Brett, etc. Even though we didn't do anything other than loiter in various locations and eat California Tortilla (which me and Melissa decided is going to be our new thing since it was $3.98 for a black bean burrito and a side of chips and guacamole..we also laughed about how we didn't even have plans to hang out but ended up leaving everyone else and just having it be the two of us for a little while. Typical.) I was just laughing hysterically all night (the Cali Tort employee getting so stoked when Van Halen came on the stereo, the massive amounts of entertaining drunk people out aka the girl who couldn't stand and tried to open every door on main st because she didn't know where she lived, really it's sad but fuck drunk girls and drinking, the guy INSIDE Dunkin Donuts that lit a cigarette, texting Melissa's stalker) and it felt so good. We had so much fun, and it's honestly all I want. Just that feeling again...all the time. It's so easy to love my life when I'm out with my favorite people, laughing, and falling asleep smiling every night. It's. all. that. matters.




I've never felt any feeling as torn as this one. It's weird wanting someone to be so happy, but also hating that they can be perfectly happy without you, when you aren't happy without them.

Such is life I suppose. I'm done spending days being sad when I have no control over the future.
http://www.last.fm/music/Lemuria/_/Length+Away

And today I leave for North Carolina with my best friend until Tuesday. I hope this goes down with every other out of state trip I've ever been on. I'm anticipated for the memories and feelings and smiles and laughs that are about to come my way in a matter of hours. Defiance, Ohio AND Toby Foster tomorrow...."FUCKYEAH!"