005.

Its nice out. Spring is coming. The next few days are going to be even more nice. Standing in the sun with bare feet was my one single moment of content today.

I thought I wouldn't be able to stay, but I've realized I can. And I let you know.
How could I say all that and not even get a response?
This is so very, very out of my hands for now.

Last night was one of the best nights I've had in quite some time. I felt completely like myself, even if it came and went with my mood. If I don't think about it, I'm fine. I told Amy I'd pick her up from the Baltimore Airport and since her flight didn't land until around 11:30, I hung out with Melissa, we looked up vegetarian/vegan restaurants in Bmore and left around 7 to go on an adventure. We ended up going to the Papermoon Diner and it totally ruled. Vegan nachos. We both agreed after dinner that it completely and totally felt like 2007 again. When we were best friends and random trips for no reason were what our lives revolved around. Driving at 2 in the morning singing along to Tell All Your Friends and Your Favorite Weapon had me feeling 17 again, junior year, just driving on my own. Having no responsibilities, just money to waste on gas going anywhere we pleased. For once reminiscing wasn't sad, it felt really, really good.

I stayed the night in Newark because I didn't want to be alone. If I fill my time with pointless plans, I don't have to think about what else to do with my life. Because right now the thought of where to go next makes me sick.

Tonight I hang out with Stace. I need to be anywhere but here for now.