002.

Today my mother, sister, brother and I went to get our Christmas tree. Any year previously (although admittedly I haven't been overjoyed during family outings the last few) I would have thrown a fit if we hadn't gotten a real tree, decorated it, etc. However this year I had a different mind set for the first time, new thoughts that never really crossed my mind. I don't know whether they've spawned from my independence that I've really grown into the past year or two, my political understandings and view points that have become a lot clearer, practiced and defined, or if I'm just some jaded twenty year old who "doesn't think anything matters". But as we were leaving the Christmas tree lot with our new found pine in the back of the car, I couldn't help thinking there's something seriously flawed with the idea of going to buy a tree to place presents under for the sake and obligation of it all- seriously spending an outrageous amount of money on a tree that will sit in the living room a few weeks before ending up curb side- when there's not even food to eat in the kitchen cupboards. Obviously it's not secret that Christmas is a capitalist holiday about money and greed and a need for "things", and although I like giving things to the people I love I don't need a time of year centered around it, but the fact of it all really hit me today. The stupidity of spending $45 of a measly tree to sit in your living room and look nice when that money could be used for something you actually need, rather than "need".

And although these kind of thoughts affect my outlooks on certain things and people, and my overall mood, negatively, I think it says something about what I care about and think is important and that maybe I'm on the right track.