Nine

We left Florida at midnight Sunday night/Monday morning for the million hour drive home, and now that we're back it almost feels as if I dreamed the entire weekend; like it never even happened. It's honestly almost easier that way than accepting that it's over and I won't see those people or be in a Fest atmosphere for months and months from now. The post-fest depression keeps coming and going today, the drive home was really rough. There's really just so many emotions flying around that it's hard to talk about any of it, and it's worse than usual leaving the places and people where you feel most at home, how little or well you know them, and going back to "real life" and not even having a life to go back to. I've been talking about moving and figuring things out for awhile now but there's been time and things to do to keep putting it off. But for the first time I really don't have anywhere to go, any plans for months, etc. The easiest option would just be getting my money together, moving to Philly and getting a job and continuing on with the life I know now. But after being thrown back in with the life I feel at Fest (or any fest) I'm not so sure it's what I want or the decision I'm going to make. While I was in California I wanted nothing more than to come home, because home is better than there. But traveling and being gone and in places I enjoy myself remind me that there are places that are better than home, and that home is always going to be there. I feel like I need to go experience something new, especially now when I have no plans, obligations, responsibilities. And if it doesn't work out I can always retreat back to Philadelphia. But for now, I think it's better to just...leave.

Fest was absolutely amazing. It completely exceeded my expectations. Melissa, Brett, Sabrina and I got in my car Wednesday morning at 3 am after 2 hours of sleep and headed for Asheville. I was so, so tired but the drive took about 9 hours and was filled with a million bathroom stops, singalongs, coffee and random grocery stores with Daiya for $1.99. We got to Asheville around 2:30 pm and went on college visit around Warren Wilson. It's definitely in the back of my mind if I ever decide to go back, but Asheville in general is more on my mind than anything. We went on the tour, checked on their free store and then went into the city to get lunch/dinner at Rosetta's. We got back in the car around 6 and continued on to Atlanta, listening to Delilah. It took longer than expected, but we eventually made it there and got to Wonderoot and still saw Iron Chic and The Wild's set (and Dakota and KT and Dave and Kara and Mitch and Anthony and Diana and met Witt, Steve, etc). We were all so tired and delusional and having left home less than 24 hours before and suddenly being around so many great faces was all just so much. Melissa and Sabrina slept in my car and Dakota invited us to go get vegan chinese. It was like 3 am and I had been awake for such a long time but I really wanted to hang out and figured why not just keep going, so we did. The food was so good and it was interesting hanging out with so many people I didn't know. Everything is better far from home. "Too much" Around 4 am be got back to the "Frat Cave" and Johnny was nice enough to let us all bombard his room. Melissa and I shared the twin mattress and I probably fell asleep faster than I ever have.
She woke me up around 11 and we got ready and since Dakota was gone we figured we should go find food somewhere or something. (They had actually left to go get things for burritos for everyone! I felt so bad when I found out.) We drove around Atlanta for while and eventually ended up close to where we started at Village Pizza. Awesome vegan pizza. So much swampy. Caribou coffee. Awesome ATL graffiti. We decided not to back track to Athens, so I called Dakota and got the address for their show in Valdosta and slowly headed that way. We spent a year in Wal Mart "getting ready" like we have a million times before, and getting an oil change. I got bit by an ant (because for some reason this only happens to me in the south and I'm allergic or SOMETHING to the black ants there..?) and eventually we got to southern GA. The show was small, but I had a good time. Joe told me to move to Berea, and we all sat outside talking for awhile. The Wild is always fun, and Chicken Little was adorable. We decided just to drive the rest of the way to Gainesville that night and attempt to get an early check out at our hotel (ha!). So we said goodbye and we got into town around 3 am....and slept in my car in the parking lot.
Friday morning we didn't sleep in much because it got hot in the car, it was loud and bright outside. We ending up staking out in the parking lot for a few hours. Sitting in the sun on the asphalt, listening to music and sewing. Eventually we were able to check into our room and we got ready and went to get our wrist bands, then we drove down the street to this cute book store with a vegan cafe. I got a hummus wrap and Melissa got a Tempeh reuben sandwich and then we went back to the hotel to nap. We got back up around 8 pm, walked around Gainesville for awhile and then ran into Vicky!!!!!! Then we met Gary, Mariya and Miles and hung out for a bit. I saw like 3 songs of the Wild's set and eventually we walked down to Mikey Erg. I'm pretty sure Melissa and me were much more drunk that we realized. His set was so awesome, and afterwards we packed about 9 people in my car, eventually it dwindeld down to just 6 and we went to a warehouse/generator show a few miles away. I'm so glad we got to hang out with Vicky and Gary as much as we did this weekend. I can't wait to go visit them in Boston, they're some of my favorite people. We saw Grown Ups and Algernon and no matter that the sound was absolutely horrible, it was still a good time. We didn't get back to the hotel til close to 5 am.

We got a few hours of sleep and got ready for the longest day yet/of Fest. I left without Melissa and Brett because I wanted to get to Iron Chic. I met up with Dakota and Anthony in line, which ruled because I probably wouldn't have gotten in otherwise. Dakota's another person I got to hang out with a lot more than I expected and I'm really happy about that. Iron Chic was great in Atlanta, but they kind of blew my mind at Fest. SO GOOD. After their set, I hung out with Chrystina and Cody for a bit and waiting in line at 8 seconds with them for Dear Landlord, Paul Baribeau, Good Luck and Defiance, Ohio. Melissa met me inside and I sang a long to Paul, Good Luck was fun as always and I danced everything way to Defiance. Those sets weren't as AMAZING as last year, mostly because I thought the crowd was way too big and I didn't feel like dying in the front, but it was still fun as usual. After that we went out to a Pasta dinner and talked about how we were already so sad tomorrow was the last day. I felt like I was going to be sick. We went to the Max Levine Ensemble, and then I walked over to Toby and Theo with Dakota and his friend who's name I can't remember for the life of me. Theo's set was another one that stood out a lot for me. I'm surprised my arm isn't bruised from how hard I was gripping it during Blackbox. The crowd did the "daaaaa da da da daaaa"'s like in the pink couch sessions version of the song and I can't explain how much it meant. Vicky and Gary told me to move to Boston and Alexis told me I'm moving to Kentucky. I want to cry just thinking about much I like these friends best. Toby, Theo and Ryan played a bunch of songs together too and the last song they played, a new Toby Foster song, was seriously overwhelming. After those sets, we sat outside of Reggae Shack for awhile while Brett did sketchy shit and went back to the hotel for a few hours. Around 1:30 am we headed back downtown, picked up Gary, Vicky and Alexis and went to another warehouse/generator show. Saw Paint It Black, and the cops came. We ended up at Checkers after driving around looking for food for awhile. Gary and I found out we grew up in the same part of California and have mutual friends- so weird. We got in around 5 am again and got a few hours of sleep before checking out.
We cleaned and got ready, regretfully checked out and went to see the Dopamines. After their set Melissa and I went to get Burritos and cried about leaving. We saw Steve from the Sidekicks play solo and then went to the Venue for Lemuria and the Menzingers. I really don't like Lemuria live. However, I'm pretty sure the Menzingers was my favorite set of the weekend. We stayed out of the crowd, screaming along until they played Sunday Morning and then ran out in the crowd. Someone suddenly picked my up from behind and threw me up in the air and I got to crowd surf; it was perfect. After their set Melissa and I ran some errands and then I went to Eric Ayotte. "Festin'!" After his set, I decided not to stay for David Dondero because I was feeling ridiculously low knowing goodbyes were coming soon. I walked to Dakota to the Venue and said bye to him. I walked down the street and sat alone for awhile feeling a little overwhelmed. Eventually I met up with Melissa and Brett and we walked around for a bit, eventually ending up with Vicky, Gary, Alexis and the like. We sat around a parking lot for a bit before saying bye. I wasn't letting myself acknowledge what goodbye meant though. We waited around to see if the show I heard about at the Holiday Inn was going on, but it didn't happen. So around midnight we met back up with Sabrina and Kiko and headed home.
We drove through the night, listening to ghost stories on the radio, everyone sleeping and me crying and hallucinating, eventually the sun started to come up and I had Melissa drive for a few hours. We napped at a rest area for a few hours and continued on. The drive went by surprisingly fast, and later that afternoon we got vegan chinese in Richmond. Honestly probably the best vegan chinese I've had....ever. We finally got back to Delaware almost 24 hours later and it was so, so cold.

As I said before Fest exceeded my expectations. I actually really enjoy not getting too excited/not having high expectations because whenever I don't, I'm always sosososo pleasantly surprised. So many 420's, speaking spanish all weekend and laughing until I cry, tigers jaw cover bands, favorite bands, brett always being sneaking and hating him for it, haunted hotel rooms, Theo's southern accent?, the clogged toilet, "bags", constant state of puke, fucking the system (my car..), developing a ridiculous crush and remembering what that's like, Art and Delilah, AYUDA!!! NO PUEDO!, the drunk guys that got in my car, the girl in the squat that got SO mad and so much that I'm leaving out or forgetting.

It's going to be a long time before I'm that happy again. I miss everthing and everybody so much.

And now what?