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I don't miss anything more than how much I miss my best friend. Her and Phialdelphia. We hang up the phone and I want to cry. I make veggie burgers alone and I want to cry. 3 am dinners just aren't the same by yourself. Every band we sing to in our city comes on and I want to cry.

But in the end, I'm just lucky I have friends as good as this. Who's absence (although, I guess I'm actually the one who's absent) truly affects me. Ones that mean THAT much, that aren't dispensible. Ones who's connections go so far past the simple definition of friendship.

Although I tear up quite often, and know where my heart is and that it's NOT here. Things will be good again. This is a waiting game.
And when they are good again, "good" isn't going to even come close to doing it justice. We'll laugh at the fact that we were ever miserable. Because we have so much more, and none of this will have mattered.
It'll get good. I promise.
I don't even know who I'm promising.
I promise myself, I promise you, I promise everyone we know.
We're so much more than this.
This is all so temporary.

No one else knows.


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That's all there is to anything. Los Angeles is quite possibly my least favorite place. I saw a friend from 4 years ago, I guess that was interesting. I think about fest, I read books, I'll be home (for an indefinite amount of time [this seems to be a repeating aspect in my life when I go anywhere now]) in a few more than 30 days.
I still need a job for the next 5ish weeks. Thinking about staying with family friends down in Redondo and working at the restaurant if my grandma would let me. We'll see.