blow in

Contrary to my dramatics, I guess I can still have fun sometimes. Like last night, I made cupcakes and bummed around my house until finally Sascha asked if I wanted to make dinner. Doing things helps to ease my busy mind and I don't feel quite so horrible anymore. We made really good pasta with a sauce from scratch and walked to the corner store for beer. Around 10:30 we decided to go downtown, I was pretty indecisive but keep telling myself it's summer and I don't need to go to sleep at 11 every night. MaryClaire was over and had a bike rack so we put our bikes on it and got a ride downtown, we biked to Xylophone park but Evan and Sarah went home already but Nable called and invited us over to 40 Congress because this person Alexay's going away party. So we biked over there, and even though I'm still getting used to biking these hills I can feel myself falling head over heels for summer night bike rides. We got to Congress and I met a few new people and actually felt like talking for once. Maybe that's what I need, more new folks that I haven't fallen into a rut with that actually interest me. I met a really cool person named Caleb and he talked to me a lot. There was a keg and Sascha and I got pretty drunk. I talked to Bursts, Nable and Wednesday some too. They're all really nice people. After awhile we decided to head home and rode in the back of Nable's truck with our bikes and it was a silly ride. After we got home, Lloyd was over hanging out with Erica, and Amanda and her friend Mooj were home too. Sascha, Mooj, Amanda and I played cards/Presidents and Assholes for an hour or two and drank some more beer. I woke up this morning not feeling quite so shitty. I don't really know what to do with myself and I feel like I'm starting to forget things I don't want to forget but part of me feels like that's my only other option. If I don't see him, I have to forget him or I'll spend my whole summer holding myself back.