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I've been perpetually waiting. Waiting for a phone call, waiting to feel better, waiting to know what to do. Just waiting. And now it's come to my attention that it's time to stop, but with stopping comes mending a broken heart that I didn't expect my summer to consist of. More of the time than not I feel like collapsing, like I don't even have it in me to hold myself up, like even something as simple as standing is too much.

While I watch people I care about in different places but together, having the time of their lives, I'm here unbelievably alone. Starting to think about letting go but not knowing how to even start.

I have lost absolutely everything that was once mine.