For Sure.

Tonight I was given a tattoo on the top of my left hand thumb. It's three lines, all different sizes, done by all different people. The tattoo is also a symbol for traveling. There's a select few good friends around Asheville that have the same tattoo and Sascha kept bringing up wanting to give it to me. Tonight Claire and Cam were here too and okayed the idea and each of them gave me a line. I know I'm still not as close to any of them as they are to each other, but this felt like a way of telling me 'this is your home, we like having you here'. They like me enough to tell me in the form of accepting me into their tight knit circle that it's okay I'm around. No matter what happens, Asheville is always going to have been a part of my life and I'm okay with that fact.

I literally have the life I've wanted and dreamed about for so long in so many ways, I'm just not living it out as fully as I could be. I'm working on changing that.
But the truth is: yesterday I rode my bike to the store with Sascha, yesterday I planted seeds working on our garden in the back, last night we got fortys and walked the tracks for awhile eventually just sitting on them talking watching the Asheville sky burn away colors, tonight we made tempeh and ate in our front yard, i sat in the front yard thinking about how strange it is to be used to being around people you're still getting to know constantly and how used to it I truly am, tonight a boy that gives me butterflies is sleeping on the couch in my living room and I can't say anyones done that in a long time. I'm still reserved, I still don't know how to make small talk and become close with people- but I'm getting used to my life here. My life here is becoming my life, and no longer feels temporary. What I'm saying is I have all these things I've wanted, they're all mine.

And for the most part, I'm okay with that. I don't know where else I'd be or go anyways, and all the signs point to everything I've loved the past few years coming together in the forms of my life here. Sometimes so much it's eerie.

Things could be better, but they could be a lot worse too. They can also only get better with time, or so I can hope, and I have no reason not to try.