empty bottles in the corner

I moved to the South and found out I'm not a whiskey drinker. I always heard about people who became sad when they drank, saw other friends get drunk and end up in tears and always wondered how it was possible; I was thankful I never got upset from intoxication intensifying negative feelings. But then one January night, just this past January, I drank a few beers and followed it with whiskey and soon enough found myself in my room leaving a long message on my best friend's voicemail in tears. Last weekend I had a pretty good night at a few parties, drunk of course; but unfortunately on beer and whiskey. It was a fun night but eventually things died down and a lot of close friends started dancing around the living room and I stood to the side and watched. Marissa tried to invite me in but I just wasn't quite drunk enough anymore to not feel like an awkward, weird mess if I tried moving my body to any music other than a foot tap or head nod to some shitty bands playing in a basement (my social anxieties have taken ahold of my life more than they have in years lately). However I was still drunk enough to almost end up in tears from that moment on- through the dancing, goodbyes and the car ride home; Because all I could think about was missing my best friends, how out of place I realized I felt. Every time I swallow some Kentucky Gentlemen I feel more alone than ever. How am I supposed to be a Southerner now if I can't drink whiskey without thinking about the North?