one thing

I've always said the only thing that truly matters to me is being a good friend. I feel like as all people change (hopefully for the better) and grow up, the things you care about are going to become more and more apparent through your personality and actions as youthful selfishness disappears. Unfortunately some people are always going to be selfish, but hopefully the ones with good hearts and intentions eventually shine through and realize what's right and important. I feel like every day the past few years, I've realized little by little more and more what's really important and who I want to be as a person and how exactly to BE that person and show it. Especially in this past year, even more specifically the past 6 months, I've become much more capable of showing how much I care and really understood just how much being a good friend matters to me.

In the past few days I've had a handful of people come to me and tell me that I am one of the few people they actually trust in their lives, who they can rely on. (One of these people, most importantly, was my very best friend. She confined in me that I am one of 3 people she trusts in the world and knows would actually be there for her, anytime. The other two people being her very own mom and sister. Yes, you should always be able to trust your best friend. But it's amazing what two unrelated people can mean to each other when it becomes a whole different level of trust.)

It's these people that have made me realize that at the very least, I've been successful at being a good friend and person.
And that's all I've ever wanted. And if that's all I ever really, truly accomplish, that's fine by me.

Also, I laid in the sun outside for a few hours today. It’s been warm again, in the 80s. I’m determined to stay as tan as I can until I go home and am forced to live the reality of what season it actually is, and inevitably have to let go of summer. However, lying there I got really sweaty and smelly and the scent reminded me of summer. Feeling free, laying in various grass fields in various states, no cares. And I missed summer. And I miss it probably more than I have ever missed another memory.

Those days feeling like you’re from another planet. Disconnected from everyone that doesn’t get it.