AK

I'm going to write about tour and the rest of 2009 soon. I really want to before it becomes too distant like I let things get much too often. But I keep waiting for that feeling of wanting to write to come before I do, it's so much easier and feels so good then.

Right now though, I feel like there is nothing left here. Even the few people that kept me around when it felt like this before seem almost irrelevant now. I don't feel a connection to break anymore. I know even if I was miles away I'd still have Stacy, and that's all that truly matters. Of course there's others, I would cry my little eyes out if I ever left Tyler. But I can't live this way, I can't sit in my grandma's house all day in this room that's not mine and not do anything and wait to be scheduled at work to make money that I don't even want. I just want warm weather so I can take off and nothing can stop me. I miss the way things were, but I don't want them back anymore. I want something new. I don't feel like I can progress anymore in the mid-atlantic. But then I think of Philly and now I know I could really make a life there and how it's already started (making more connections in Kentucky of all places) but this thought in my head of going somewhere far away and new isn't leaving and it's so fucking strong that I don't know how I could just possibly ignore it....

I left a little piece of my heart in Arkansas.