couches

We're having a party at our house tonight. Sascha is sending out a mass text to a bunch of Asheville friends inviting them over. I think it's so strange how I can be excited for fun yet so very anxious and nervous about feeling awkward. I think it helps a lot that it's at MY house, instead of going to a party somewhere else I don't know anybody, but it doesn't change that until everyone's drunk and friendly I'll stand to the side comprehensive, watchful and unknowing of what to do or say.

We're also having our first show in less than two week (on the 27th)! I've been learning what feels like a lot about the kids around Asheville and it's unfortunate that our turn out won't be everything it could this time, but I'm excited nonetheless. It'll probably be even more awkward than the party but I think in that kind of situation I can turn on hospitality mode feign normality.

I've been typing up a really long entry full of great things and strange things but it doesn't feel complete because I'm still feeling out so much. I'll post it eventually.

Other than that, I'm happy but just stressed about January slipping more and more away and needing to get that phone call offering my a job rather soon. I also miss my best friends but for the first time in a long time I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be and I haven't felt that since summer or in a sense of "home" in even longer.