001.

Recently I've posted a lot less than I have been the rest of the year. I feel two ways about this, 1. I like how documented my life is, I hate when I stop using this for months at a time because I never feel the urge to write anything but also 2. that it means something, probably something along the lines of (well yeah, being gone on trips and having a life the doesn't revolve around the internet) being in a better place, loving my life and regaining the sanity I questioned through out March, April and a portion of May. But finally, it stopped hurting awhile ago now. It's a piece of me and will always be a little sore, but I'm completely happy and I am living. Really, really living. And everything is good.

I had a hate/love relationship with the rest of tour. I was glad to be in far off places, not having another care in the world and I definitely had some fun. But I also missed friends at home and not every night was entirely enjoyable. I think it just wasn't comparable to the week I had previous. I seriously miss the shit out the CFF and the Boston kids. The shows were mostly boring (accept for the end of midwest fest, seeing the carrier, and the house show Drew and I were sneaky at) and the boys got a little mean at times. But Milwaukee was awesome, as was driving through Chicago, Gary and watching the sunrise on the 10 hour drive home from Ohio Wednesday night/Thursday morning.


The last two nights home were decent/nice to be home for a bit. I am legitimately homeless for now, but it's mostly by choice and not a problem yet..and won't be, if at all, for a few more weeks. I've been wandering around for 3 weeks now and I've got plans for at least another.




After sneaking into Melissa's at 4 am, we found out a kid we all know died. I didn't know him well enough to be extremely upset about it. But I knew who he was, have been around him various times and had conversations with him, and he's a part of the infamous 2008 Altoona trip. I sat in car next to him for 8 hours one night. It just makes me feel sick and leaves me with this overall erie feeling. It just hits close to home. Melissa and I have previously had conversations about death and how not everyone you know is going to see a long 80 years. At some point, someone we know and love is going to be gone forever. Just the thought could break me. I don't know what I'll do if it's ever someone very close. I dealt (or something) with my Dad, and that was hard enough. A friend..I'm not sure I'd function completely normally ever again. My heart seriously goes out to anyone that was actually good friends with Logan and his family too. His dad made a facebook page in his memory, I never want to experience how he's feeling. Losing a child is probably even worse than losing a parent. We are all so lucky to get to live as long as we do. This all just reinstates my belief of living for today and nothing farther into the future...because who knows if you'll see 5 minutes from now.