thirty-eight

I had so many things to do to prepare and finish before leaving, they're all almost done. Minus getting a sleeping bag and a few other things I'm sure I'll remember. Tomorrow I'll dig a new garden bed in the front yard, and the rest of the week I'll hang out with Sascha and Claire before saying goodbye after the Spoonboy show on Friday.

Cam's gone, but last night was pretty nice and I think that proves I'm really starting to feel better about everything. I hung out at home with Claire, David, Mary, and Amanda. I sewed and talked to David a lot. We walked to the citi stop on the tracks and bought a 12 pack and an 18 pack. David made me shot gun a beer and I haven't done that since probably last summer. We sat up talking for awhile and they invited me to ride trains with them to Arizona from New Orleans after we spend Halloween there. I didn't even express interest before hand and David told me I should come. It was really nice, they're great people.

I'm still apprehensive. I'm still nervous and anxious. I'm still doubtful of myself and what I have to offer.

But one thing is for sure, because I'm letting myself go, because I'm going to feel free again, because everything is working out so easily-

This is going to be wild.


(ps I turn 21 in just about 6 weeks)