latter

1. the one who once said to me “ring on finger serious” who i had sex with for the first time on valentines day, who made me have nightmares about giving up the things i really wanted to move to new brunswick instead, the one i havent seen since a winter morning on the steps outside that south jersey house, the one who is now married with a step-child.

2. the one who i called my best friend for over two years, the one who would hold my hand when i was sad, the one who would also kiss me to shut me up but no matter how fucked up things were, the one that can still make my entire body shake when i think about the way they feel next to me at night, my arm around their skinny waist, face pressed into their back.

3. the one id have to wander around downtown to find, playing his banjo somewhere on the sidewalk. the one i first felt what the idea of falling for someone really meant. the one that would walk an hour and a half to my house from the opposite side of town just to sit on steps outside with me, the one who left one day, moved to new york city, and never called again.

4. the one i never knew whose hometown was just 30 minutes from mine, the one who i found thousands of  miles from there just around the corner, the one who kissed my hand on the dark ride home in the last place i ever expected good things to happen, the one who now only distance kept away and about whom ill always wonder