We used to roll the windows down and play the music loud.

I haven't accomplished anything I left to accomplish. I've been gone nine and a half weeks and I am not one step closer to anywhere I want to be. If anything I'm worse off than I was.

I spent close to the entirety of my day yesterday crying because on top every thought I'm incapable of dealing with, I don't know how to deal with the idea of going "home" and Sascha not being there. When I have absolutely nothing and no idea what I want, the idea of my best friend not being anywhere near where I am is possibly one of the hardest things I'm going to have to deal with.

I'm at the point where if I could go back to Asheville right now, nothing changed, every single piece of the dysfunction that was there still there, to go back to my life there exactly how I left it, I would do it in a heart beat. But I can't go back and things will never be the same.