Rambleramble

6 months from today I will be 20 fucking years old.
Summers mark so much for me.
I like cats/kittens now. I don't know how those kinds of facts just changed, but those kittens in Arkansas just meant so much. Now I love all felines.
I might be moving into a collective in Philly with 8 radical idealist, vegan, dumpster diving, lovely people. I'm waiting for an e-mail back.
Everything comes together if you just wait it out and never stop hoping.
I might just delete everything in my Itunes except Jose Gonzalez.

WHY DON'T YOU MISS ME?

This is how it feels when you lose someone and they hate you and want nothing to do with you. But I didn't do anything. I never made you angry. Nothing ever happened that should of affected us in any way. You told me I was your sister, I told you everything I would tell a best friend. But now something changed and you've just stopped caring. I don't understand. I just don't know why you don't miss me the way I miss you. I don't know how you can hang out with people you've always claimed to hate but won't give me the time of day, and when you do it's not important. We were so close, and I love you to death. I just don't know why it's like this. Please come back.

4:44 am

Bedsheets (and usually beds) are non-existent in my life. As well as clean socks.
I want to move to Little Rock, Arkansas and live by those tracks.
I've been wearing these jeans for 4-5 days now, and this includes sleeping in them.
Southern Hospitality makes me feel like a horrible person/gain confidence in humanity.
Joy Division, Morrissey, and The Cure are wonderful. And might be all I listen to for the next 9 weeks.
I hate all things winter/things are only good when it's warm.
My heart might now be a few states away.
The weird connections in my life seize to stop anywhere, and even follow me to Kentucky.
Ear plugs have intersecting good and bad qualities. Actually it's mostly just of the dilemma of protecting my hearing vs. getting the full effect of a show. I tend to be my own worst enemy.
If there's a God, he's been giving me signs via locomotive.
Summer, summer, summer, summer.
Home isn't home anymore.
I wouldn't have a home even if it was.
I can't help but hold, pet, and play with Kittens all night even if it means inevitable sneeze attacks for the next 3 days.
Men with beards obsess over my name and the stories behind it.
Once I started calling him Paul B. and now I can't remember his real name.
I hate the question "What kind of things are you into? What do you like?" more than anything. And will make said conversation entirely difficult, I promise moments full of awkward silence.
I met a nice girl in Texas.
I never say nice things about other females.
I semi-snuck into two hotels and obtained free breakfast.
Abrupt dietary changes and lifestyle decisions.
Vegan.
The Atlanta aquarium has whales. I will go in the near future.
I lost the weight I gained back. Now onto the next goal.
I ate dumpstered pecan rice krispy treats.
Cont'd: I understood Freeganism.
I have a lot of tickets to pay off.
I can't drive my car, well, not very much.
I need a second job.
Money is stupid. I don't believe in it. I need some, but I don't want it.
Ireland may be a part of my life for a month or 6.
I feel a little more alive, but now I don't know what to do with it.
I still need a bicycle.